Your imaginary friend
I don’t like movies. I’ve tried to like them, but I just can’t get into them. Honestly it’s the length that gets me – maybe something about sitting still and staring at a screen for more than an hour makes me restless. It’s a pretentious excuse but I can’t come up with any other reason. Sometimes however I do find a movie that I can finish and enjoy. Mostly they fall into one of two categories: cartoons or old action films – the kind that are ridiculous and obnoxious.
I did watch a movie the other day that got added to my finicky movie list recently: Fight Club.
(insert whatever spoiler alert warning you like here)
This movie turned my reality against me and spun me into a web of frustration and it all started with the protagonist’s imaginary friend, Tyler Durden.
My job is not the best part of my day. There are other things I would rather be doing pretty much every day of my life besides going to work. Alas, here I am in the trap because of this thing called bills reminding me that we have a deal: if I want stuff, I have to work for it.
Now I know movies aren’t real, but I’m not convinced any of us have a solid grasp on reality anyways so I humor myself with imaginary movie plots and try to find the connections to real life. This character, Tyler Durden, sparked my imagination and made me wonder about my own imaginary friend, what she would be like, and what that says about my deepest desires.
It’s that time of year for the annual corporate America Christmas party. Indeed it is an odd social custom; there’s this unspoken pressure to “show face” whether you want to or not and I’ll bet the majority of people are on the side of ‘no thanks.’ Nonetheless we RSVP and fake smile in each other’s faces until it’s time to leave. Now maybe i’m pessimistic or i’m just not the social type but I grudgingly accepted this Christmas party invite and spent a good amount of time dreading the actual day.
Long story short, corporate America Holiday parties are bullshit. It’s a weak meaningless social obligation people only show up to because, well. . . they’re obligated. After all, 40 hours a week every week just isn’t enough time aboard the slave ship.
My imaginary friend thinks so too, except she’s not afraid to go do something else with her time which is why she’s imaginarily living in freedom and I’m stuck in reality trying to escape to where she is. I asked myself “if my imaginary friend were to get invited to a bullshit work party, what would she do?”
She would never, ever be caught dead fake smiling in people’s faces and she hates parties so she would go to her boss and with a straight face say
“I’m sorry I can’t make the company party, I have surgery that night.”
Sarcasm is her favorite sense of humor. She’d walk away smirking, knowing how ridiculous she sounded, and not caring one bit how that makes her look. In fact, she’s not burdened by how others perceive her and this is what makes her cool.
I wish I could be more like imaginary Leah. She doesn’t have to go to stupid Christmas parties. A week after watching the movie I realized how many other things imaginary Leah got a break from and it angered me. All I could think about was how much time I spent wanting to be somewhere else.
Some of us had imaginary friends as children, but I’m willing to bet we all have an imaginary friend with us now. It’s that person we bury because we want to fit in or are afraid of what others may think. Ironically, our imaginary friend is always one step ahead of us. They’re always better looking, more popular, confident, richer, etc. Why not spend time each day asking ourselves what our imaginary friend would do?
I think the imaginary friend has the inside scoop on our inner most desires, simply because safe in the distance of our imagination he/she is free.
My imaginary friend has worked up quite the life for herself. I call this life my “dream” but maybe it’s not much of a dream at all. Maybe it’s a part of me that’s begging for an escape. Like Tyler Durden, maybe she has something to teach me and a new world to show me full of adventures for us to be a part of.
I ask myself now “what would imaginary Leah do?” in situations. Turns out imaginary Leah is pretty bold and it’s a boldness that frightens me. I’ve been asking myself why in hopes that I can inch closer and closer to closing the gap between my current reality and my imagined one.
For now imaginary Leah stays in my imaginary world, but it has been an enlightening exercise to pay closer attention to that child inside I lost somewhere in the pile of bills and laundry days. She reminds me of what I used to think was important, before the world convinced me otherwise and that she is a part of me, simply because I’m the one who created her.
So now I ask what does your imaginary friend look like? What do they like/dislike? And most importantly, what would your life look like if you brought that friend to play?