The other day Anon told me a story about a small child he called a baby, and that child’s reaction to being called a baby. It wasn’t a surprising one of course – the child was more or less offended by the title.
It got me thinking about this peculiar pattern I’ve noticed amongst human beings when it comes to our phases in life.
We start out as babies, not knowing much of the world and not being too bothered by it either. Our brains start firing full speed ahead absorbing everything like wildfire in an attempt to try to make sense of the physical world around us. We learn to walk, talk, eat and read and eventually we become small children. All of a sudden babies are beneath us. We’re smarter, more independent, and better off than some stupid baby. In the future, adolescents and school age children are cool and we can’t wait to be like them and in school and learning.
That time surely does come when small children are now beneath us. We’re more coordinated, even more independent and more responsible than wild children who don’t know much outside of playtime. Then we look to the sky at the teenagers and young adults – they’re the cool kids.
And we carry on like this until we’re old and there is nothing ahead of us but death.
In the midst of it all there’s this weird dance between wanting to be somewhere else, somewhere better and more advanced all while being so much better than what came before us. We’re not dumb kids anymore, but somewhere in the background our hearts ache at the thought of what was lost. The further back you go in your life phase timeline, the more you realize how great it really was to begin with.
“If only I knew then what I know now. I would have enjoyed it.”
In hindsight life looks like this:
Babies – boy do they have the ultimate. Lay around and demand your needs and you’re so stinkin’ cute, no one can say no to you.
Children – playing and discovery. So easily entertained and amused. They have an uncomplicated life and they seem to be having the most fun doing the smallest things.
Teenagers – No responsibility. . . must be nice. Their only job is to obey rules and get good grades. Seems like a sweet deal to me.
Young adults – The world is their oyster and they can eat whatever they want without gaining a pound. High amounts of energy and even higher amounts of ambition. Body’s like tanks. They can drink and party all night and only need a few hours to recover. Did I mention no wrinkles or chronic illness?
Single – Dating. If you don’t like someone you just stop answering your phone. You can live your life whatever way you want and don’t have to answer to ANYONE. Eat whatever food you like and watch what you want on tv. Who’s going to stop you? That’s right. No one.
Married and Childless – Freedom and disposable income. Lucky bastards. Do they even realize how good they have it? You can come and go as you please, sleep in as late as you want, travel whenever you feel like it, and you only have to worry about yourself.
Young children – I remember when my kids were young. They were so sweet and helpful. We had so much fun over the years and they always laughed at my jokes. I remember when I was the coolest person they knew. I wish I had more time now that they are growing so fast and leaving the nest.
Young – Ahh to be young. To have your vigor and health, your friends and family close and so much time ahead of you. It is a luxury that young people need to take advantage of. Stop and smell the roses. Slow down. Take it all in. Life is so short.
Why do we look back at the phases in life with fond memories, but while we are in them we appreciate the greatest that life has to offer?
Why do we then arrogantly snort at the past claiming to be so much wiser and better off anyways? It’s a careless dismissal to comfort us when faced with the fact that we actually missed time that we will never get back.
And why does this phenomenon start so young?
If we truly lived each day in all its magnificence, would we look back at our lives differently? Would we have regrets or deep seeded pain? Surely if we’re alive we are in one of these stages right now, so there is something great about our lives right now that is only temporary and thus precious.
Take a trip to the future and think about how you will talk about your life now in 10 years, and when you return take your own advice on how good you have it and how to soak it all in. Our days only come one at a time and each one is yet another moment to live in fullness. With the right perspective you would never really miss anything in life because you were full from the experience while it was there. It’s a refreshing way to walk in true gratitude and to be present in a real way. I think we underestimate the richness of life; like every bite of a decadent dessert, every experience takes you on a glorious ride. When it’s all gone you feel satisfied. It’s a gift to die satisfied with everything life showed you.
We haphazardly say “life is short” but that’s only because we don’t recognize how much time we waste being somewhere else – excitedly anticipating the next phase, scoffing at previous ones, or taking glory trips up down memory lane. Meanwhile the one we experience right now comes, goes and silently shifts its way into a category – to be lived and evaluated at a later time.
I think I’ll try stopping to smell the roses now, slow down my life clock by taking in more, and take the phases as they come – right here and right now.