“Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to recover.”
True words uttered out of my mouth after multiple nights in a row soothing WeeBear for hours at the end of a long day juggling two kids.
And it’s true, some days feel like I won’t ever recover. Some days are turning into most.
At this point I’m not even sure I want to. I just want to raise my kids and then go to sleep – in that order.
“Recover for what? So I can have even more to do? What I need is a vacation, not a recovery.”
True thoughts appeared in my head after finally putting WeeBear to sleep, with just enough time to eke out some hours of rest before I wake up in a frenzy the next day.
And in the midst of this all-consuming Herculean task, I often wonder if I have enough strength to persevere.
At this point I’m not even sure I want to. I just wanted to meet my fate lying horizontal in a food coma – my stress eating is way out of hand.
Persevere for what? To access bragging rights over my participation trophy? What I need is my own mommy to persevere for me.
Eventually I have to do something.
Eventually
For now I’ll just be here, wherever here is, with my children. For now, I’ll just be.